Date: Wed, 27 Nov 1996 11:14:23 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Of Mice and Macarenas

Oh Oh Oh...I can hardly wait...Los Del Mar (famous for popularizing the
Macarena) is coming to Neuchatel on the 29th.  I'm soooo excited...oh,
wait a sec, no that wasn't me who gave a damn, it was someone else - never
mind :)  I think it probably says something about your 15 minutes of fame
being up when you're playing gigs in Neuchatel (although I guess it does
mean you're on a world tour).

Well, judging by the number of tidbits in my tidbit file, I haven't
written for a while - sorry to have kept you all waiting for so long :)

Is it just Switzerland, all of Europe, or all over the world that young
women are wearing really awful elevator like shoes.  I had not noticed it
before I left, but then again, I didn't get out much, not that I get out
much here, but I do ride the bus every day, so I see a fair number of the
common folk :)  Not only are they ugly, and do awful things to the way
they walk, but they are further reducing that already small height
difference I may have had.  Not that this height difference is of concern
to me, but it does seem to be of concern to the general female population.
[Anyone who feels compelled to criticize my possible obsession with
women's footwear can do so by writing their criticism on 20
dollar/franc/mark bills and mailing them to me.]

As everyone should know by now, nothing in Switzerland is free.  I learned
the other day, that local calls (i.e. down the street) on personal phones
(i.e. the regular one in your house) cost 50 centemes per call.  I think I
would definitely be hanging up before the answering machine answered.  I
think I would also probably get pissed off at people who set their
answering machine to 1 or 2 rings.  Good thing I have no reason to make
local calls :)

As most of you know, I chew plenty of gum.  Just simple Trident sugarless,
not huge wads of bubble gum or anything.  Anyway, my initial supply is
running out, so I went out to buy some.  Even gum is expensive.  Packs of
Trident cost 1.20 SFr a piece and only have 5 pieces (as compared to our
8).  You can buy 3 packs for 2.10 SFr, which is really a good deal in
comparison, but this is only putting you back to our cost, for only 5/8
the gum.  Makes you appreciate Costco all that much more.

Have I mentioned the buggy (shopping carts, not fleas and mites and flys)
escalators here?  I don't think so.  Everywhere that I have been shopping
that has escalators has an extra set of escalators beside the regular one
for your buggy.  They are really well set up and work really well.  The
run slightly slower than the people escalator so that you arrive at the
end in time to pick up your buggy.  Way better than any of the ones of
seen in North America.

Okay, time for some more food related stories.  

The other day at the cite (there's an accent on that last e like this ""
(did that show up right ?) - this is what the cafeteria is called because
it is the university city, along with the residences) I had rabbit and
yellow stuff.  I asked Micheal (the grad student who works for the same
prof I do) what it was.  He tells me it's "mice".  Now, it takes a little
while to convince him that it is in fact not mice and to determine that it
is corn (maiz :).  I think it was corn grits or something.  Filling, but
not very tasty.

After lunch, a common event is a visit to the coffee bar.  I'm not sure
how familiar everyone is with European coffee, but they think our coffee
is a joke.  Their coffee is so strong that it looks like milk has been
added, but it has not, that is just the colour of STRONG coffee.  I am
sure that the cups they put espresso in would fit in my mouth, and they
tell me that in Italy, where they make even stronger coffee, an espresso
cup is about the size of a large spoon.  They also can't believe that we
would even consider letting it sit around and boil all day.  Anyway, after
a number of discussions on the subject, it seems that they think of our
coffee what Canadians think of American beer (or in Darren's case,
Labatt's Blue :), magnified 10 fold or so.  Anyway, not being a coffee
drinker, I have a "chocolat chaud" (and it only took me till my 4th visit
to be able to order that on my own - I don't want a chocolate hot, I want
a hot chocolate, or a chocolate milk,  what the hell is a chocolate hot?).
Anyway, this particular day I decided I would try a coffee, who knows,
maybe I don't like it because it's just too weak.  Well, I got my coffee.
Nope, my dislike of it has nothing to do with being too weak.  I of course
then go to add the cream, sugar and chocolate (you get little squares of
chocolate with you coffee :) to my coffee.  You should have seen the
expression on the faces of the people I was with as I proceeded to learn
that creamer containers in Europe do not have disolvable sealant.  They
thought that because I did not like it I was going to drop the whole
container in :)  Another culinary adventure.  By the way, I did manage to
drink the entire coffee with no ill effects except for an abnormally
frequent tummy grubling for the rest of the day.

Two other amusing things at this coffee bar.  A few days ago, one of the
cooks (it is also a restaurant) was wearing a "350 ans" Montreal
sweatshirt  - good thing I had seen it before or I would have never
figured it out from the top 6 inches that show above his apron.  (By the
way, for those of you who own such shirts (you know who you are, with your
ex-Montreal living, traitorous parents suporting the French cause by
buying their propagandizing T-shirts), it is very blatantly clear that it
is a person, and not 4 coloured squares, when you only see his head.) And,
I have also discovered that those beer commercials don't lie.  The whole
world is drinking our beer.  The little cards on the tables proudly show
that one of their specials is Molson Canadian ICE.

The billboard ads for "Canard WC" just don't seem to have the same ring as
Toilet Duck.  I mean, Toilet Duck almost sounds like a mock super hero,
but Canard WC sounds like an American president or something.  Doesn't
make me look forward to cleaning the toilet nearly as much as Toilet Duck
does.

I think I have figured out the real problem with my French accent.  I used
to pretend it was because I had a French Canadian accent and these uptight
Parisian types actually understood, but pretended not to.  (Although from
the half dozen or so French words I use I think it would be difficult to
tell :)  The real problem with my accent is that I refuse to speak with my
mouth full of spit.  I have been listening to the people around me and
have determined that the only way to produce some of the sounds they make
is to try and speak with you mouth full, almost to overflowing, with spit.
With this in mind, I'm not sure I'll ever get any better.  

Anyway, this has gotten sufficiently long enough, so we'll save those
other tidbits for next time.

And I will part with some help from Gary and a grade 10 French exchange,
Voulez-vous couchez avec moi se soir?

Aaron